As a sub, what would you most wish for? want to avoid?
As a top, how would your reward your good sub? your bad sub?
(What other question(s) did I miss?)
Obviously, there are no right or wrong answers , and other potential outcomes depending on your own D/s dynamics - simply would love to hear from both subs and Doms/Dommes…
As a sub, I prefer lots of teasing and orgasm denial. No ruined orgasms or other releases except for an eventual full orgasm at some point in the future.
Yeah ditto, ruined orgasms just make me sad. Lots of edging or pure denial for me.
Hi - same questions too for you as to DelvianSeek. Why do RO’s make you sad - is it the frustration? other? Personally, I would go crazy without some release.
It’s an emotional sad, like I’ve failed and been bad. I’ve only deliberately ruined once, all the other times have been accidental. Leaves me confused and in a bad mood
Well, hopefully we can help you see ruined orgasms as a totally fun experience, even for a sub. Yes, while it’s damn frustrating to be ruined and not be fully satisfied (or in your case, leave you in a bad mood), that is the exact intent from the dom to control your submissiveness - it’s like giving you a partial taste of the reward so that if you do continue your good behavior (however that’s defined in the unique dynamics with your dom).
Having said that, total denial is also a very valid means too…
Am I understanding correctly that you don’t have scheduled releases, and only just whenever your mistress/wife wants? What do you have to do to get that eventual full orgasm? What was/is the longest period you’ve been denied?
My wife and I haven’t done much, but in my ideal world, yes, no schedules, just whenever the keyholder wants. Schedules ruin the spontaneity, not to mention being detrimental to the subs desire to serve. The longest I’ve been denied has been a couple of 100-day stints.
You are a very dedicated sub enduring these long stretches. Why so long, and did you finally learn any “lessons” during these times?
No particular lessons, and no particular reasons for going so long, but I honestly love the frustration and the feeling of being constantly aroused.
Wow, I thought I was doing well with a month being my record. I’m 9 days in at the moment, maybe I’ll try to match my record and then keep going afterwards.
Edit: do you find you want release less as you go on? I hit a barrier where I’m just bored not horny, if I did longer I’d hope that the horniness would get much worse again.
I find it comes and goes, like in waves. I’ve definitely reached that point like you’re describing, where the horniness just goes away for a while. But then it comes back. And then it goes and comes back again. I think teasing is important for keeping that arousal elevated too.
As a sub I always want a full orgasm, but I’m usually denied or given a ruined orgasm to keep me in subspace.
A punishment I’ve received is exclusively ruined orgasms for a period of time. I became very uh… dependent on anal stimulation since that was always allowed
What was your longest period for punishment?
Thanks for dropping by and posting. Hope you and your partner will share more of your experiences. And belated welcome to LemmyNSFW! (yes, I looked at your post/comments history…)
Longest was two weeks, ruined orgasm with cum eating every night before bed
You’ve been very well trained then. With the cum eating, do you consider that a punishment or reward (or ?)
Uhhh my relationship with it is complicated. It’s easier when it’s a ruined orgasm because I’m still horny. When I have a full orgasm I don’t enjoy the cum eating nearly as much, but it’s thinking about doing then that I fantasize about…
So idk. It’s more about delivery ig. Licking my cum off the floor is a punishment, licking my cum out of my domme’s pussy is the expectation.
Hmm. I always want to do cum eating then decide not to do it after I’ve had an orgasm… maybe ruined orgasms so I go through with the cum eating is something I should play with after all!
It works. The trick is to commit, immediately. Don’t let yourself relax and relax into your refractory period. Self facials are also good for this.
Personally I struggle the most with eating my cum off of my body like if I cum on my stomach/chest because the act of trying to scoop it all with your fingers just isn’t very sexy. Ruining into a cup or onto a plate or something works well.
Or maybe into/onto food? Not being allowed to eat your dinner (or breakfast!) until you’ve ruined onto it
Just an update for those of you subs that are already into cum eating.
Or those of you Doms needing some ideas on how to motivate your subs:- The act: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/1678983
- The aftermath: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/1679005