I’m asexual but I enjoy feeling horny so I dabble in chastity. I find that I stop feeling horny after about 2 weeks and don’t really desire an orgasm anymore. Do other people experience chastity similarly or is this another difference from being ace? I’ve not gone longer than a month really so maybe, as someone suggested the other day, it comes in waves?
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Don’t know if it was the same thread you’re referring to, but I posted here earlier that I found it came in waves when I was locked up long-term. And that’s just it - really horny for a couple of weeks, then it fades for a couple of weeks, then comes back after a while, and so forth. Of course, teasing helps keep the horniness going, especially during the downtimes, so if you do have a keyholder who is open to that, you should discuss it with them. That said, I’m about as far from asexual as you can get, so our experiences may differ, and maybe for you that feeling won’t come back after it dissipates. The only real way to know is to try it.
For me, the first two weeks of abstinence are pretty easy. Week 3 is very different - I feel very horny, frustrated, and irritated. And then week 4 and onwards things are easier again. I’ve only made it past that 3 week hump - when before I’ve caved - once, in my current streak, and I’m currently on day 52. It’s not that tough; I’m learning new things about my body, like how I experience horniness now and if/how I can satisfy it.
I think there’s a general idea around femdom/FLR communities that males peak in sexual frustration around week 3, after which they seem to adopt to the new normal of not coming. So, proponents of this lifestyle let their men have a ‘release’ every 3 weeks - to maximize their long-term frustration/ submissiveness/ etc. I believe I’ve read this in detail on the blog evolvingyourman. I don’t know how truly common it is in those communities.
So, I think you’re in good company if you notice your horniness rising and falling with time in a patterned way - that more time spent in chastity doesn’t always equal more horniness. It may be that you stop feeling horny quicker (~2 weeks versus ~4) than non aces
For me, I start to peak between day 3-4. The end of day 4 is probably the apex of desire and frustration. After that, frustration sort of levels off at much lower levels because acceptance starts to settle in, then it’s just a feeling of annoyance because wearing a cage is inconvenient.
Getting into the 3+ week time frame, I just feel full and want a release, but there’s not a whole lot of desire for sex or playfulness, just release. I haven’t experienced any waves or changes past that time frame.
I recognize a week is probably too often for people in this community who are trying to train for much longer time frames for various reasons, but that’s what seems to work best to maximize the effects my wife is trying to achieve. She has really gotten into the whole Locktober thing and has been pretty strict about doing the whole month the past few years, even though it’s sort of suboptimal for us. I think she likes the community aspect and the tradition.
Anyway, my point was that I tend to peak way before 3 weeks.
Getting into the 3+ week time frame, I just feel full and want a release, but there’s not a whole lot of desire for sex or playfulness, just release.
I also experienced something like this in the weeks after my horniness peaked. I ruined an orgasm after a long streak of abstinence. And, I felt extremely relaxed afterwards, like feeling satiated after not eating for a long time, peeing after not being able to for a long time, sitting after standing, coming in out of the cold, etc. Hearing what you said, and reflecting on my experience, I think not coming at some point past the peak of horniness felt less sexual and more just like a generic biological drive. I could definitely see that sort of phase being suboptimal for couples who aren’t trying to suppress the “desire for sex or playfulness” (as you perfectly put it) of the person wearing the cage
Never - for me. I don’t play with chastity to supresss or deny - for me it’s trying something “new” to goose up my horniness - when I have the chastity cage/band on, it’s to excite and to keep the mind mentally focused on the idea/themes around it, like keyholder, D/s dynamics, visual stimulation (I’m a male, so simply wired to be more visually oriented, and seeing extra adornments like cages, piercings turn me on)
TBH, “normal” porn and the old “in-out, wham-bam” gets pretty boring after seeing it for the 1000th time and beyond haha