No way can I top that story.

That being said, lemme introduce you to orca girl.

Back in high school, I had a girlfriend. Not the only one I ever had then, which is relevant because of the story not being a single event.

She was pretty damn awesome. Tall, strong, stacked, gorgeous, soft in the right places, and into me.

She was also relatively high libido. There were fun times had at school as well as away from it. The at school stuff wasn’t weird, because you had to be careful when doing that kind of thing.

We had had sex a few times before things got weird. I think that was mainly because we had only had chances where being noisy would have led to interruptions.

But the first time we had sex in my room at home, shit got real.

It wasn’t just that she was loud, that isn’t weird. It’s how she was loud. She had always made some sounds, but not like this.

She was making whale sounds. Woooooooo-woo-woo-woo, that kind of thing.

It stopped me. I asked if she was okay. She said yes, please don’t stop. So, I keep doing the do.

She explained later that her fantasies were mostly about being an orca. That, wanting to be fucked while a knife was at her throat, and being fucked by two men at once, roman chair style.

So, when we could be properly free in our doings, that’s what I was treated to. Not the Roman chair part, we only did that once. Looots of whale song. She had never heard actual orca sounds I guess.

She once told me to fuck her blow hole. I did so. I had a one in three chance of getting it right, and luck favored my choice.

We even went out on a boat to have sex so she could feel like she was in her natural environment fucking. I had an uncle who had a big boat. It was on a lake, not at the ocean, we’re in the mountains, but still. Talked my cousin into taking us out and just blasting music in his headphones. Family gotta help family, you dig?

Eventually though, it ended. Like many relationships, it ended when she fucked her cousin. I didn’t dump her because of that. I didn’t find out until she was dumping me. She was doing so because “I can have sex with him more often because nobody would guess we were doing it”.

See? Nowhere near as weird as being fed shrimp by a horny cop at a brothel orgy.

This was a number of years ago but back in college my girlfriend and I were having sex in her dorm and literally right when we finished she got a surprised knock on the door. I panicked and just pulled my pants up (it was a between classes quickie kind of thing). The knock on the door was her brother who stopped by after one of his classes for some reason or another. So I ended up chatting with her brother for a little bit while still with wearing a cum filled condom tucked inside my pants.

I once refereed a butt plug tug of war.

I don’t think anyone can top being hand-fed shrimp by a corrupt cop at the queer brothel. I’m jealous.

Once I did molly and gave a hand to a guy sleeping in a doorway, if that counts as weird. I’ve also been to a couple of fetish parties and gotten whipped.

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