49M cishet Master. I serve as a mentor, teacher, speaker, priest and sometimes performer. Happily married. I’ve been active in the public kink scene since 1999 and I’ve been teaching since 2015. My passion is communication and my kinks include fire and obedience.
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There are a ton of good books out there, but mainly I would say just practice. Be gentle with yourself. Communicate a lot. You’re going to make mistakes and that’s ok. Make sure your sub is on the same page.
The New Topping Book is a good place to start. If you get more into the mental aspects I like pretty much everything from Raven Kaldera. Robert Rubel (Dr Bob) has some good stuff but he can be a little dry. I have met Raven on several occasions, he tours the country teaching kink. Dr Bob I’m proud to call a friend. I would also recommend reading the stickies in the Submissive Women forum on Fetlife, there’s a lot of good insight into the minds of submissves there.
Are you in Texas? In Austin and Dallas we have formal training programs for both Doms and subs. It’s a year-long program, roughly one Saturday a month with lots of homework, that runs Dec to Dec. It’s super cheap, document fee and 8 hours of volunteer time. It is a lot of work. Class size is about 30 people. All the instructors/mentors are volunteers. None of us get paid.
I also run a for-pay academy for folks who can’t afford to be recognized (politicians mostly) but it’s not cheap.
I’m hoping this group can supplement or replace r/bdsmadvice for specific questions. What do you want advice on?
Actually the dungeon is only about 12 years old but that would look weird on the post. Newly renovated last year.
The best advice I can give you for rope is to find your local community and find someone who can mentor you. Videos can be helpful but a video can’t see when you’re doing it wrong and correct you. Rope is probably the most underestimated danger in kink, so many incidents of nerve damage.